The Back of Her Hand

A few years ago, I worked at a restaurant. I had built pretty good relationships with the girls that I worked with. We would often have discussions about religion and Jesus. One night it was pretty slow, and one of the girls started sharing her heart with me. I don't know why she decided to open up to me, but she shared her painful experience with me. This girl had been raped. I didn't know what to say to her, so I just listened. I prayed and asked the Lord for the right words. I remember the pain that I saw in her eyes.

I told her that she was loved. I said that Jesus was the only one that could take away her pain and make her whole. She soaked up every word I said. I did the best I could to share the love of Jesus with her. In her brokenness, her heart was tender and ready to hear those things. I know that seeds were planted. When we were done talking I said "Give me your hand." I wrote "I am loved" on the back of her hand. She didn't wash it off, she kept it on her hand for the rest of the night. I wanted her to know how much she was loved. I hope that every time she looks at the back of her hand, she remembers what I wrote.

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The Fires of Sorrow

I love My Utmost For His Highest and I have been using it for my devotional time lately. Here is another bit that popped out at me.

"Sin and sorrow and suffering are, it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them. Suffering either gives me myself, or it destroys myself. You cannot receive yourself in success, you lose your head. The way to find yourself is in the fires of sorrow. You always know the man who has been through the fires of sorrow and received himself. If you receive yourself in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people."

I have become familiar with sorrow because I have lost my grandpa, two aunts, and a friend in the last year. I now have a small understanding of what it is like to lose someone you love. I would have to say that the most genuine people I know have experienced great pain. I can't stand fake people. I don't understand why people have to put on a show. I can usually see right through their act. I work hard to be as genuine as possible. I think that is why I love spending time with people with disabilities. They have experienced great pain and suffering and they are some of the most genuine people I know.

When we have any kind of success, it is so easy to take ours eyes off of Jesus and we can often get distracted by pretty much anything. There are so many people in this world who have so much and yet they are missing something. When you have a lot of stuff, you can be distracted by it. When you have little or nothing, there is only Jesus. The poorest of the poor and the lowest of the low, according to our society, are the ones who truly have the joy of the Lord. I have been profoundly impacted by spending time with homeless people in Chicago, poor people in Mexico, and people with disabilities. They may be poor by worldly standards, but they are rich in the kingdom!

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One With God

We are officially in the middle of summer. Once again my heart is restless. I am going to Camp Daniel in a week. This is a ministry that I love more than anything. Disability ministry is where my heart is at. I have been praying about going into disability ministry for the last four years. It is all a matter of timing. It is so exciting to talk with good friends and dream about what could be and what God could do. I have decided that I don't want to settle. I want to step out in faith and receive all that God has for me.

I want to know when and where I am supposed to do this ministry. Unfortunately, there won't be a big booming voice from heaven. I sat down last week with my Bible and My Utmost For His Highest looking for answers on wisdom and guidance. I found my answer almost immediately in My Utmost For His Highest. It was just one sentence.
"We have to be so one with God that we do not continually need to ask for guidance."

Seek the face of Jesus, that is the most important thing. I need to be in the Word daily and I need to work on my relationship with Jesus. I have failed miserably over this past year. Thankfully, Jesus forgives, and I can start fresh and new today. I am so excited to see where God will take me and how my future will unfold. Please pray with me as I seek the Lord about my future.

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Called To Minister

"Ministry to those with disabilities sometimes requires great effort and sacrifice, but remember how God served us. We were made for this very reason- to sacrificially serve others, and to live this way is to be like God."

I was reading a manual today on the reasons for starting a disability ministry. This particular bit popped out at me. We are called to do ministry among the disabled. That is what Jesus did, and now that is what we must do. Sometimes it is not an easy thing, but we must do it anyways. I write this having had a very difficult day with the teenage girl I watch who has special needs. I would have to say that this was one of the most physically and emotionally demanding days I have ever had while I dealt with her behavior issues. The words that popped out at me were ministry requires great effort and sacrifice. Wow, okay God, I get it.

I have been fully immersed in disability culture for the last six years and it is good to know that there are still situations that bring me out of my comfort zone. God has used someone with a disability each summer to push me a little farther out of my comfort zone. He knows exactly what I need to have my selfish flesh broken down a bit. These have been some of the most difficult times for me, and yet they were the best spiritual lessons I have ever experienced. I only experience these things around people with disabilities. There are only a few people who get it. These wonderful, dedicated people come back to camp each summer ready for more. I don't understand why more people aren't catching onto the vision. Most of the time it is wonderful, but there are difficult moments. I guess some are just scared because it can be hard. These difficult moments have made me the person I am today. I have changed a lot over the last six years. God has used people with disabilities to profoundly change my life. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes and helping me to catch onto that vision.

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Summer Lessons

This summer I am watching a teenage girl with special needs who lives close to me. She is sixteen and I have been having a good time with her. She needs help with lots of things. She also has behavior issues and can be difficult at times. It is good to get experience with this and learn how to deal with different situations. Her family needed someone to watch her for the summer and I am glad that I was available.

One day last week she was wandering around the house. I asked her if she needed anything, then she took my hand and led me back to the couch where I had been sitting. I guess she wanted me to leave her alone. Haha. When it was time for me to leave she actually said goodbye again. Two days in a row…finally, some progress. It has only taken her six months to say goodbye to me. She said 'baba' and then she picked up my purse and walked over to the door. She was helping me get ready to leave. OR, Maybe she was trying to tell me that she was sick of me and wanted me to go. Hmmmm. There are really funny moments with her sometimes. I love moments like that. They sure do make me smile. :0)

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The Many Faces of Markie

I love this kid!

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A Very Special Family

Last week I got to spend a couple of days with my cousins. We haven't seen each other in nine years. We are all grown up now. There are ten kids in their family. The three oldest couldn't come, but I got to spend time with the rest. I love big families. I had a blast with all of them. We are all very similar. We got along really well. I am definitely closest to them even though it has been so long since I have seen them. This is a pretty special family. All of the kids get along really well and they love spending time together. That is a rare thing. It was really neat to be around that and watch them interact with each other. It is always good to see healthy family dynamics.

The youngest is Mark and he is twelve years old. He has Down Syndrome. He is so much fun! I love that kid! I only spent two days with him and he already has a very special place in my heart. Funny thing, it never takes long for them to do that. What a precious gift he is! Markie was born into a very special family. Aunt Sherry is a pretty amazing woman. God chose her to have two kids with special needs.

I really believe that God chooses special families to love these kids. Families like the Dunbar family(my cousins), the Kocian family, the Weidner family, the Barnes family(I spent a year with them and worked with their daughter), and the Piantines. My friend Kath also has a brother with special needs. I have heard the Piantines say that it just happens. Well, I have spent enough time with them to know that they are a VERY special family. I am still convinced. All of these families have been such a blessing to me. What an example they have set during the good times and the trials. They have all made me a better person. Thank you. Sarah and Markie

Rachel, Markie, and me

Aunt Sherry

Jon

Bekah and Markie

Sarah, me, Hannah, Rachel, Gloria

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Speaking to My Heart

When I was in Ohio my Uncle gave me a very nice digital camera. He is into photography and he had an extra camera in his closet. I have wanted one for a long time but I couldn't afford it. The camera was a huge gift. I was speechless. This was such a blessing and I am so thankful. I love to take photos. Now I can take all the photos I want. YAY! Thanks God! There you go again giving me another desire of my heart. It may seem silly to some, but I look at the simple things. God does this kind of stuff all the time. Often, it is time spent with the people that I love. Sometimes it is a beautiful sunset that was just for me. Thank you Father God for speaking to my heart like no one else can.

A gal from church came over today and she brought her baby boy with her. Cohen is 6 months old. I got to take some pictures of him. He is a sweet boy.

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