Follower of Jesus

"The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obligated to act accordingly." -Soren Kierkegaard

Wow. That is exactly what I do. I have been reading stories about Jim Elliot, Corrie and Betsie ten Boom, Mother Teresa, and Amy Carmichael. These folks gave up everything to follow Jesus. Their relationship with God was on a whole different level. God was the lover of their soul and they gave up everything to serve him.

Their stories got me to thinking about my own relationship with Jesus. I long for my relationship with God to be on that level. I want Jesus to be the lover of my soul. I long for that more than anything. There is a big step I must take, but it is something very simple. I must give up everything. There is only one thing that stands in the way: myself. My flesh is my biggest enemy. I know what I must do, but I don't want to give up those selfish desires.

I have only met a few people who were TRUE followers of Jesus. We may love Jesus, but our flesh still rules. We like our way of life. We've let things slide a little, or a lot, and we want to keep it that way. God couldn't possibly be asking us to give up those things, right? That means we would have to change our way of life. We don't want that! I know what God is asking of me, and yet my flesh fights it every step of the way. Who rules your life?

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Better Than an Hallelujah

This song by Amy Grant has been on the radio a lot over the past few months. There is something that strikes me every time I listen to it. This song makes me think about Sunday mornings at church. I don't know where it came from, but why do Christians feel like they need to act like they have it all together? I am making a generalization here, but it's so true. They feel like they have to put a smile on and act a certain way. I can tell you right now, no one has their act together. We are all messed up. How many of those smiles are fake? God doesn't want the fake crap. He wants honesty, whether good or bad, he'll take it all. God works through it all. We are only saved and healed by God's grace.

Can you imagine what our churches would look like if people were honest with themselves and God? Our relationships with each other and God would be so much deeper, so much more real. If we are honest with God about where we are at in our relationship with him, it will take leaps and bounds forward than when we try to pretend like we are something we are not. I am one to see right through an act that someone is putting on. Generally, putting on an act means that there is a much deeper issue. What are people trying to hide?

I try to be as genuine and honest as possible. That is why I love hanging around people with disabilities. They are as genuine and honest as it gets(most of the time). Sometimes they are brutally honest, and they express the good with the bad. God doesn't want us when we have our act together. We will never have our act together. He wants us now, right where we are at. God can see where we will be down the road, he can see what we will become. He sees us as a beautiful mess, ready to be made whole.

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My Faith is Like Shifting Sand

Funny how you can do some of the simplest backbreaking work, and yet it teaches you some of the greatest lessons. This lesson was in my face all morning because we were digging trenches in the sand.

While I was digging, this song by Caedmon's Call came to mind, "My faith is like shifting sand, changed by every wave. My faith is like shifting sand, so I stand on grace."

We are such fickle people, aren't we? We change our thoughts and opinions daily, so easily swayed by things and people around us. We ask God for a sign. We say, if you do this, then I'll believe. When we DO get an answer from God, we explain it away like it isn't from him.

While we were digging the trenches, we couldn't stand near the edge or the sand would break off and we would have to dig it out again. That is how easily our faith sways. We need grace for our faith. I doubt God all the time even though I know what he has done in the past and what he will continue to do. I'm glad he doesn't give up on me as easily as I give up on him. Thank you Lord for your never-ending grace. Thank you for YOUR faith in me.

Tom and Anthony hard at work, or hardly workin'

sweet Sarah and Amanda

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The Society of Outcasts

"Calcuttas are everywhere if only we have eyes to see. Find your Calcutta." -Mother Teresa

While Shane was in Calcutta, he spent a couple of weeks in a leper colony, the society of outcasts. As he lived among these people, the Bible came to life. He saw Jesus among them. They taught him how to love, live in community, and live out the gospel. The leper colony was a community that depended on one another for their needs and loved each other sacrificially. He had found a community living the way that God intended.

I have found my Calcutta, it is the community of people with disabilities. They are outcasts among the world, yet Jesus spent much time with them. They have taught me many of the same things. They have taught me how to love unconditionally. They have taught me about dependence on God because many of them depend on others for their daily needs. I have also learned about sacrificial love and service by caring for them. It is this amazingly radical thing that has changed every aspect of my life. They are some of my great teachers, helping me to bring sin to the surface, and to get right with God. I have much to learn, but I am on my way. This has become a life-long ministry. I have found the treasure of heaven, and I am never going to leave.

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Namaste

I have been reading a book called Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. It is quite a radical book with radical ideas. A few years ago, I read this book for the first time and it came at a crucial time because it helped to push me toward living a life of ministry. I have to say, I agree with many of his ideas. They are on the edge, going against what most people call normal. I am living a life of ministry, going against the norm, and I am proud of it.

Shane spent some time in Calcutta, India working alongside Mother Teresa with the dying and the lepers. While he would take care of these people they would whisper "Namaste" into his ear. Namaste means " I honor the Holy One who lives in you." I can see Jesus in you.

I have never taken care of the dying, but I have had some "Namaste" moments. When I did full care for Barb and Greta, two gals in wheelchairs, there was this deep connection that I cannot describe. As I cared for them and tried to show them God's love, I saw Jesus in them. Oh how those two deserve loving care like that. I believe our souls connected and it was a 'Namaste moment'. I could tell by the way they looked at me while I was caring for them. There is a radical change that takes place inside of you when you care for someone like that. I will never forget it.

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MERA

A few weeks ago, I had a photo shoot with Em, Nissa, and Ruth. We all took turns with the camera. They all have an eye for photography. We had so much fun! I love these girls. I had been praying about mentoring these girls. This summer, God clearly answered that when He opened up the door into their lives and families. Two other girls who are a part of this group are Grace (Ruth's older sister) and Hannah. We are quite an interesting group. I am 23, then we have Emily and Grace who are 17, Nissa is 13, Ruth is 14, and Hannah is 12. Our ages may vary, but the girls have a lot of fun together. They are all really close. I am excited for what God is going to do in this group over the next few years.

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A Beautiful Moment

Oh Camp. It is such a wonderful place. There are so many little miracles and beautiful moments that happen throughout the week. You have to keep your eyes open, or you will miss them. Now that I am on staff, I sit back and look for these beautiful moments. I want to share a couple with you.

My friend, Emily, had a camper named Barb who needed full-time care. God had been doing a lot of things in Emily's heart, and she was ready to take care of Barb. It was her first time with a camper who needed full care and she did an amazing job! From the moment Barb arrived, Emily was completely focused on her. I had Barb as a camper a few years ago. It was so awesome to watch Barb change Emily, the way she had changed me.

One night, I was standing outside of the chapel talking to Tony while everyone was standing in line for meds. We look over and see Emily kneeling on the ground while she was feeding Barbie applesauce. It was such a beautiful moment. I wish I could have taken a picture of it. It was such a great picture of complete service and sacrifice. That moment is what camp is all about.

Later that week, I was sitting under the porch while everyone was hanging out. Emily and Ruth were singing Taylor Swift songs to Barbie. Barbie loved it and she was singing along. It was such a beautiful moment, I had tears in my eyes. What beautiful moments have you noticed?

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Sisters

Holding the baby. What a big girl!
What a helper!


sweet girls
I love everything about this shot. I love how Lydia is resting her chin on Estie's head and cupping her hands, and I love that Estie is smiling.

A kiss for Estie.

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DJ's New Friend

My friend Lori came up for the weekend. She has been a camper at Camp Daniel for the last couple of summers. DJ and Lori became a thing this summer. They talk on the phone, ALL THE TIME! She came home with us after Able on Friday. DJ was grinning from ear to ear the whole ride down. She gave him a hard time all weekend, and DJ couldn't have been happier. They are so cute together. It is kind of entertaining to listen to them go back and forth. The thing is, they never stop talking! Oh well. It was a great weekend for both of them. Don't worry, I checked on them many times. They are so deserving of each other. They have a lot in common. They are both blind and they come from hard backgrounds. They deserve to have a loving relationship like this. Ha, I guess we will be seeing a lot more of Lori around here. :0)

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The Kids

These are my friend's kids. I just spent a couple of days at their house. I love them dearly. My favorite time with the kids is putting them to bed. There is a lot of tickling, laughing, and silliness because everything is funny. AND...There are a lot of zerberts. I will treasure those moments with them, forever.



being silly

playing in their room


Elijah giving Lydia a kiss.

sweet sisters

the kiddos
I love it!

Giving Estie a kiss. It is so awesome to watch these two with Estie. They love her fiercely!
Look at that dimple! It is perfect for lots of kisses.

sweet baby. This little one has made her way into my heart, just like the other two. LOVE HER!
This picture sums up everything I love about babies. I love their chubby cheeks, bellies, dimples, and smiles. And I LOVE this chubby baby in just her diaper!

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